Ajogie Fartmeister

314 Shaw Rd
Ridley, Pa 19078
[email protected]

EXPERIENCE

Arbees, Arbees — Valentine

Aj is the worst employee ive ever had. He always smelt of rancid cat piss and would run in circles on all fours in the freezer. One time he showed up to work as draco malfoy and would yell at all of our customers in a british accent. We made the most sales that day. Id hire him again, but at a great cost. He had the best farts.

Wax Museum, Hollywood — Casper

I hired AJ while in desperate need, it’s one of my biggest regrets. He constantly yelled at customers and asked if he could put his “balls in their jaws,” whatever that means. If I could go back in time, I would slap myself silly for even considering hiring someone who completed their interview while talking in a Peter Griffin impression. Worst two hours of my life, my clothes still smell like they were pickled.

Mary & Bobbies, Northern Tennessee — Mary &

My little Ajogie makes the best sweet tea now yall. We ware a home owned family business from Northern Tennessee. Sometimes he pees in the lemonade, but the customers adore it. He’s such a charmer, my little sweet danish tomato.

Kohl’s, Wisconsin — TommyInnit

Ajogie was never an employee of mine but one day he came into the Kohl’s I manage and tried on a pair of cream colored leather pants. Upon finding the fitting room, he had left a mess of feces and urine everywhere, inclduing the pants, and had already fled the site before we could ask him for financial repercussions.

Starbucks, Tubs Lessons & Co — Mr. Biyjaw

Ajogie fartmesiter has been such a pleasure to have in tuba lessons. He learns so quickly and is so eager to share and help his peers. He pooped his pants and it did stain my leather chair, but that was only once, and who can blame him after he played such an incredible tubo solo. Aj is such a hard worker and such a good spirit to have around

SKILLS

I can do a very good Peter Griffin impression
Cosplayer (Draco Malfoy, Naruto, Deku, Hisoka, Yoonbum)
I can Fart
Guitar/tuba

PLEASE INTERACT

DARRYL NOVESCHOSCH

LANGUAGES

English

PROJECTS

C4D — Disbanded

It’s all his fucking fault we had to delete the server because of him seriously fuck this dude I’m being 100% serious he’s so fucking weird